Diary of a Metal Mommy

Even though everything around us is actually dying, September always feels like new beginnings to me. I definitely think the Jews are onto something, celebrating their New Year at this time. After all, I'm actually making an entry in this blog. Back from the the blog grave I am! School starts, which is definitely all things new...new teachers, maybe some new friends, definitely new experiences. There is the feeling of change in the air--for me it's definitely a time of nesting. Wanting to cook yummy comfort food and do projects around the house. Yesterday I roasted my first chicken of the season (never mind it was a balmy 80 degrees out...I couldn't wait any longer!) and it tasted delicious. I baked muffins for the kids' breakfast, something I did a lot during the school year but somehow became yet another thing to be forgotten once summer hit--like my regular work-outs. We'll soon be painting/re-doing the kids' rooms and eventually painting the family room downstairs. It's only taken two years to really start doing some of these things we've been wanting to do...!

Sullivan is definitely undertaking something new--Tae Kwon Do at American Karate Studio. Sound familiar? It should--that's where I took karate up until my back rallied against me and made it impossible to continue. Now I get to live vicariously through my 8 year old, trying desperately not to become the over-bearing 'Karate Mom'. After the first week of unsuccessfully trying to get him to actually practice his form outside of class I knew he was going to have to do this at his own pace, not mine. Although he wasn't exactly begging me to join, when I brought up the idea of doing this for about the 5th time over the course of a year or two he finally said, "yeah, that might be fun..." so I jumped on it! For Sullivan, I look at this sport as therapy. TKD is all about discipline, focus, balance, memorization, feeling strong. All of these things are hard for my little Asperger's boy, which is why it's so good for him. It's the only place I've seen him be encouraged to try something over and over and he'll actually tolerate it. Ms. Obermiller is amazing--the perfect mix of sweet and loving but the kids also know what she expects and they don't want to let her down. Not only does she teach them the moves but she takes the time to talk to each of them, and her classes often involve lining the kids up and talking about everyday life lessons. And can I just say that Sullivan looks darn cute in that uniform?? sigh. Watching him start to get a few of the moves down for his form makes me all teary-eyed--not only because my baby is doing Tae Kwon Do, but I know how tough it is for him and how HUGE it will be when he gets it all down. Having a child on the spectrum sure makes you appreciate the things we so often take for granted in our 'typical' kids. Sullivan's first form--Kyum Son, which means humble beginnings. Indeed! So happy fall to you! Maybe you can start something new...I have a few things up my sleeve myself. :-)

*one thing that is definitely new, my friends, is the fact that this blog will now be in yet another different place....my new web site!  The site is still in the works, but if you want to keep up with the diary of this Metal Mommy the new updates will now be there.  (sorry to keep moving you around!)  I'm also hoping to post a bit more often there!!!!!  The address is:  www.metalmommy.com  ....but of course. :-)

What a fabulous weekend I've just had!  How about you?  Every year I so look forward to the 4th of July, and I have my dear friend Stephanie to thank for that. Celebrating the 4th as a child in Iowa City's City Park is a tough act to follow, but I dare say my now grow-up ritual of spending it at Stephanie's is making it just as special.

Ahhh, City Park.  Every year we'd head down to the park early in the day, armed with our blankets, chairs, snacks, sparklers, and OF COURSE a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, complete with the cole slaw and potato salad that simply MUST accompany.  We'd usually spend the day with friends and neighbors, camped out on the grass playing on the equipment, tossing frisbees, riding rides (they actually had some rides at the park then...ferris wheel, merry-go-round, and the like) and swimming in the city pool for hours.  As it started to get dark we'd pack up and make our way to the field with everyone else to get ready for the fireworks show. Sometimes my sisters would bring their boyfriends. I lit sparklers every year even though they secretly really scared me.  I remember never wanting the fireworks show to end.  I never wanted the DAY to end!  Even the random soul-shaking BOOMS that would erupt out of nowhere throughout the day giving me a small heart attack each time couldn't have kept me away.

Even though Coreman's always been a trooper about doing the whole fireworks thing no matter where we've been over various 4ths, I have to say nothing has ever compared to me to grand ol' City Park.  Not until we started going to Steph's, that is.  It's been about 4 years now, and it's always a blast. The kids swim in the pool, we eat amazing food (MUCH better than KFC, I dare say) enjoy wonderful company and see a great fireworks show. It's cozy, relaxed and fun--and should make my own kids some great memories of their own.  Thank you once again, Stephanie and John!

Today, we needed to work off all of that wonderful 4th of July food.  It was gorgeous outside and the Coreman and I felt like we wanted to explore some new territory.  We ventured out to the Taylors Falls area and found a great trail and oh-so-prehistoric area called the Potholes.  These holes are perfectly round channels into what used to be lava that is now solid rock--pretty darn cool.  In the bottom of most of the holes is standing water...one sign mentioned that they don't even know how deep some of them go.  Oooh, spooky.  How very Journey-to-the-Center-of-the-Earth!  After pondering these we walked a huge circle of a trail--all in all, I think we did about 3.5 miles.  Cool rocky terrain, amazing vista views of the river, Lord of the Rings-type woods.  Fabulous!

I hope you yourself made some new memories this holiday weekend!!!  Now, back to the....grind?!  Yay summer!!

OK folks.  I haven't wriiten in here for quite a while and now I'm coming in on the re-entry with some pretty philosophical deep stuff.  Bear with me.  :-)

Lately I've been slowly coming to a realization that seems so elementary, and yet...nigh-impossible for me to really take in.  Dare I say it, but I think life really is about the journey.  I know I've read that, heard that, thought about that at some point in the past but only now has it just started to settle itself onto the outer layers of my wary soul.  

I started thinking about my life and how really my entire purpose for being since I became an adult has been trying to DO something.  Trying to GET TO something. Trying to BE something.  It began in junior high when I unexpectedly found myself nailing a solo in choir which elicited a roaring round of applause from my not-always-so-nice adolescent classmates--from then on, I wanted to be a star.  For a long time it was a musical star, a singer.  First a jazz vocalist, maybe the next member of Manhattan Transfer--then a rock star, singing in various bands in Los Angeles.  After rock and roll burnout, I decided a star coffee shop owner was the role for me.  Soon realizing that owning a business wasn't as glamorous as it seemed to be--especially in Missoula, Montana--that dream gave way as well.

I took some time off to get married and have some babies, but it didn't take long to get back on the 'I've gotta be a star' bandwagon. At some point I started a screenplay, thinking maybe 'screenwriter' was my calling.  Baby number two took my attention away from that venture.

From there the 'star' dream has continued in different shapes and forms.  Writing music and doing an online musical project, voice over work, commercial work, trying to break into radio, even my podcast...all attempts to get myself 'out there' in the world.  Honestly part of me is embarrassed by my never-ending need for attention...!!!  Why is that so important to me??  Someone once told me that for whatever reason, I just feel the need to be heard.  I found that very interesting and apropos.  It was like Lucy when Schroeder finally plays Jingle Bells the way she envisioned it and she exclaims, "That's It!!"  And when someone happens to hear my very loud laugh--which is pretty impossible not to, as long as you're in the same zip code--they would definitely agree that I need to be heard...!

I guess back in junior high I did myself a disservice and decided that I had to be doing something extraordinary in my life to make it all worth while.  That somehow having a wonderful husband, loving children, a great home, a couple of fun part-time jobs and fabulous friends wasn't enough... I needed some kind of Out There career.  And since I have yet to really achieve any of those things in the grand way that I expect of myself I've felt bummed and somehow lacking.  It's very frustrating.  Oh, I've had a little 'taste' of success here and there, but nothing that's lived up to my standards as of yet.  Ug, who wants to live life that way?

So it came to me the other day that I was actually quite happy.  That I DO have a wonderful husband, the best children, fun and fabulous friends and I am doing things that make me enjoy my time here on earth.  Working at Hot Mama may not be a career, but I enjoy myself when I'm there.  Moms Like Me is a great outlet for me to be creative and meet some really wonderful people.  I look back at my life and think of all the stuff I have done and am still doing!  It's definitely been anything but boring!! Maybe life really is about the journey.  Maybe whoever said that really knew what they were talking about.  Maybe just loving where you are at the moment--or not loving it but carrying on anyway because you have people that love and support you and damnit you just have to pull through another day-- is what is so extraordinary in life.

Oh, I'll still always strive to do something new, fun and different--I don't think I could ever stop that.  But it's taken this long to start to realize that there is more to life than being a star.  Or better yet, I AM a star--we all are, just going about the every-day things that we do and doing them the best we can.  Maybe, just maybe...

There they go again.  A celebrity has to go and be on their deathbed from sickness and remind me of my own mortality.  How dare they?!  Of course I am talking about Farrah Fawcett, who has been in the news a lot lately about her seemingly downhill battle with the dreaded 'C' word.  (no, not THAT 'C' word...if only...!)

Farrah Fawcett.  Reading about her struggle is really effecting me, more than others I read about for some odd reason.  I guess for me she totally symbolizes a big part of my childhood.  Like Harry Potter is to Vivian, Charlie's Angels was the stuff of dreams to me....I wanted nothing more than to be one of those beautiful, brave and clever P.I.s.  I mean, come on!  Have any man under your spell whilst you drive a cool fast car, brandish a gun, look really good running in a bikini and always save the day with your cool peeps??  There was nothing better.  I spent many a summer day with my friend Linda Kohout doing my small adolescent Iowa City version of just that.  (okay, we didn't drive, had no guns but our fingers and I'm pretty sure didn't wear our bathing suits while we played, but still.)  We would make our friend Bryan be Bosley, (poor Bryan...I'm sure he would have much rather been the ever-elusive but always surrounded by a harem Charlie)  and his friend Brad be the bad guy.  And actually, Farrah wasn't even my favorite Angel.  Whenever we played I always had to be Kelly, or Jaclyn Smith.  No one ever wanted to be Sabrina, that brainy one. (although she was always my dear husband's favorite, which is one of the things that made me fall in love with him....!)  I spent hours making Charlie's Angels paper dolls, creating their mod 70's fashions and even putting together a penthouse apartment out of other paper doll folders by stapling them all together...it was complete with an oven that opened and a fold-out bed.  And don't forget the disco lamp!  

With Farrah's death will definitely come the end of an era to me.  That is so very sad!  And of course as I mentioned before, the morbid realization that hey...that could happen to me.  Or a friend or family member.  It makes you wonder...which friend or loved one will be the first one you hear about? Horrible to think about, and I try everything possible NOT to.  But when news like this is all over, you can't help but go there.

Meanwhile, I'll go about my day and try to make the most of every minute.  That is the good to come out of these reminders....be grateful for your health when you have it, and your loved ones as you have them.  Maybe on the day Farrah goes I'll have to gather up some friends and play Charlie's Angels, just for old time's sake.  We can strike a pose, hold out our fingers and shout in a breathy voice, "All right, hold it right there!"  I'll make Coreman be Bosley.

Life feels like one big celebration lately, and that's a darn good thing.  First of all we got some tax money back and I have to admit, it's been fun spending some.  I felt so touched being considered one of Macy's 'friends and family' I thought I just had to go spend some money there.  Of course I had to visit the Coach section and I found myself the perfect little wristlet bag for my upcoming class reunion. (it's not until August but you can bet I'm already planning for it...!)  When else can you get Coach at 25% off?  Not often my friends, not unless you are friends and/or family.  So there it is.

Yesterday us gourmet gals had a fun little celebration at Nancy's house for Dawn's 50th birthday.  Like she looks 50...??!!  It was a regular gourmet feast, even without our men.  Smoked salmon, lovely cheeses, pate, crackers, soup, fruit and of course Rosemarie's famous brownies made it quite the party!  Oh, and don't forget the mimosas!

Today I was invited over to my new neighbor and friend Eugenia's house to hang with her and her fellow Chinese girlfriends for an after-bible-study lunch.  Every Wednesday they gather at her house to get their Jesus on and then EAT amazing homemade Chinese food that they have all brought.  How lucky am I go be invited to this private and special affair?!  I think Eugenia was a bit surprised that I would eat just about everything on the table...I know Andrew Zimmern would be disappointed in me tho, as I did have to pass on the chicken feet and the pig's skin.  It was so fun to get a little window into a whole other world, an be invited in so warmly!

Now this has nothing to do with any sort of party or celebration, but I just have to share....maybe this will be the party favor giveaway gift for you??  Thanks (or no thanks!) to one of my managers at Hot Mama, I've been totally into this website called Go Fug Yourself lately.  Absolutely hilarious.  These two woman totally bag on celebrities and their sometimes (okay, often?!) questionable choices of what they must call fashion.  The writing is spot on and will have you laughing out loud.  I find myself having to check this site a few times a day for a juicy little tidbit.  You're welcome! :-)