Diary of a Metal Mommy

So this morning found me at the Mall of America, welcoming parents and kids coming to see a FREE movie at the cinema there.  You heard right, FREE. Every Saturday they have a 'Free Family Flick' at 10:00 AM where you can watch a family-friendly movie and not spend a dime doing so.  Well, of course the treats are NOT free...and who can see a movie without popcorn and/or ten dollar candy??  Where else do you have the excuse to have a King-Sized Snickers for breakfast?? This event is hosted by Moms Like Me, the web site I write and moderate for.  We moderators take turns greeting the people as they come in and this morning it was my turn to represent.  It's always interesting to communicate with these folk...last time I did this some girl came over to tell me that her dad liked me. yikes.  This morning a little boy that I'm guessing was all of about four walked by and solemnly gave me the peace sign.  It's a pretty easy gig--I show up, stand by a lonely dark table and point people toward the direction of the right showroom, (we don't want them going into "The Last House on the Left", after all) sometimes answer questions about Moms Like Me and then make an announcement to everyone to check out the site before I high-tail it outta there.  If I can get my kids up and out of the house they stay and watch the movie, but more often than not I just do my gig and leave.  It's a pretty cool thing though, and I'm always surprised at how empty the theater is.  A free movie, people!  Maybe folks just really don't know about it?  You should check it out!

Being at the mall, well...of course it's a great excuse to slip into a few stores.  I just HAD to pop into one of my faves, Sephora, to seek out a product I saw in one of their emails to me.  Check out these hilarious 'Pocket Rocket' lipglosses, made by Urban Decay.  Remember those pens from the 70's (okay, I know I'm dating myself here...!) that had either 'hunky' guys (a 70's sort of hunky...complete with cheesy mustaches and sideburns) or buxom ladies inside the clear plastic and when you turned them over their clothes came off?  Well this is the exact same concept in the top 'lid' of the lipgloss.  Of course these are all dudes, since the product clearly caters to women. (and I guess straight women at that.  not for the Lipstick Lesbian, apparently.  or Lipgloss Lesbian...) There are eight different dudes/shades to choose from, and that's a quandary---do you pick the dude you want or the shade??  If you mouse over the different choices on the web site it will show you a bigger picture so you can really get an eyeful. Apparently the view from the back is good too.  I literally laughed out loud when I saw this, delighted.  I couldn't wait to go into Sephora and pick out my very own dude to bring home--but alas, they aren't even in stores yet!  Poo! So much for instant satisfaction.  And I don't know about you, but it's too hard to pick something like a lip shade sight unseen. (I guess the practical side of me is choosing for the gloss verses the guy.)  But I'm definitely going to have to pick up one of those bad boys---it's been a while since I've done that. ;-) Hey, this along with a vibrating mascara--you've got yourself a date!

Those of you who know me know that I surely appreciate potty humor.  To me it's yet another wonderful thing about having kids--especially a 7 year old boy-- a great excuse to dabble in it more oft than naught.  However I do think I may lose a bit of defecation appreciation if I were to read a menu that offered 'diarrhea with dried poop' or 'bloody poop' as dessert items.  Apparently there is a restaurant in Taiwan called The Modern Toilet that has such a menu, where you sit on toilets to eat and are served your food in miniature versions of them.  You have to read the entire article to get the idea.  Fascinating.  With the 'poop-shaped' lights and dish covers it sounds like it has quite the decor.  I think I have actually found something that could gross even me out. However this is a place I could take my mother.  No, seriously.  She would love it. (where do you think I got my sense of humor from?!)  

I am doing nothing today.  Absolutely nothing.  I’m busy having a Pity Party for myself and that takes up all of my time and energy.  Well, I take that back…in the Valentine spirit I did attempt to make heart-shaped sugar cookies for my family.  I had made the dough yesterday and was all prepared as soon as Sullivan got on the bus to start rolling and cutting, frosting and decorating.  This is a labor of love, my friends, as I have recently finally come to admit my failure as the Good Mother and Wife and stand up to say, “My name is Susie and I hate to bake roll-out cookies.”  And doing a task you truly can’t stand in the middle of a Pity Party—I believe that gets extra points.   I was ready to take on this task with a heart full of love, simply because I know my kids (and husband too, I’m sure) would be delighted.  (and obviously it’s something they rarely get!!)  The dough, however, was not going to cooperate with me.  I have a feeling my mother-in-law forgot something in the recipe, as all the refrigeration and extra flour in the world would not help this dough be rolled out without sticking to everything, forget getting it off the counter and onto the baking sheet in any shape resembling a heart.  So the dough went into the garbage, along with any will to do anything else today except prepare myself to schlep on into work later this afternoon.

Schlepping is definitely the word to describe me today—well, today and for the past 2-3 weeks or so as I’ve been battling an on-going back problem. Hence the reason for my party.  Who knows what started it?  I have no idea.  I didn’t get into a car accident, reach to get something in a funny way, sneeze whilst bending over.  There is no rhyme or reason this time for my current condition and that just gives me more reason to celebrate.  I have lived with this back thing for years now, a few times in my life it has left me bedridden for a week or so before I am finally able to hobble around, all bent to one side, gripping the wall or whatever else is close by to get me from point A to point B.  Luckily most of the time it’s not that severe, but I can honestly say not one single day goes by without me being in at least a small amount of pain and/or stiffness.  Before this recent bout, if I felt a bit stiff I’d lay down on my side for a few and it would work itself out.  Not this time.  Before this, there was always something that triggered it to get to this teetery point, but I honestly can’t think of  thing that I did.  This scares me. (and if only I looked this glamorous with my back ache...!!)

Turning 40 is bad enough without having to deal with an on-going condition that makes you feel like you're 80.  I have too much life to live and enjoy to worry about getting from point A to point B!!!  I gave up water-skiing, dancing, my beloved Tae Kwon Do, the idea of ever doing anything ultra-physical or even walking or driving long distances long ago and have (more or less) come to terms with that.  But getting from point A to point B is just living life, my friends.  I need to go to work and be on my feet for hours.  I need to get in and out of the car without worries of my back REALLY going out.  I need to be able to lay down and get comfortable so I can get a good night’s sleep.

And did I mention that I can’t take any medications for the pain?  This party just gets better and better, doesn’t it??  No Advil, Motrin, Aleve, Aspirin—any pain reliever but Tylenol (which does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for back pain) can I take because I am allergic to NSAIDS, which are the main components in these life-savers.  Damn if I can’t even take the fun stuff like Vicodin.  (alas, I don’t think they’ll let me live on morphine.  Imagine what shape cookies I’d be making on that stuff?!)  So, I live with it.

Honestly, I HATE complaining. I don’t like it when other people do it, and I don’t like to listen to myself do it.  Typically I don’t invite people to my Pity Parties—I just soldier on with a happy face and hope that eventually pretending turns into reality.  And it usually does.  But sometimes, darn it all—one just has to give in and let yourself be disappointed in your situation.  It takes a lot of energy to put on that happy face all the time and frankly sometimes I reach a point where I just can’t NOT complain.  So there it is.  Put on the party hats and get out the streamers.  Blow the noisemakers and eat the cake.  It’s a Pity Party, and you’re invited. And now you may leave, go on to the next party and be done pitying me. Hopefully soon this episode will be a bad memory and I’ll wake up with a lampshade on my head and gladly do the walk of shame on home.  And it will be walking, not schlepping!!!

It's been WAY too long since I've posted anything--as it is I have no idea what I'm going to write about so I guess I'll do what they say when you want to get into your creative writing---or into your deep dark psyche---just start writing!

I'm sure it's no surprise to those of you who may read my blog that I am THRILLED with the fact that Barack Obama has officially become our new Pres.  I was home the entire day yesterday and even skipped my date with Billy Blanks to start watching the Inaugural festivities as soon as I got Sullivan on the bus.  Wow, pretty amazing--I mean, what else can you say?  I'm so utterly impressed with Mr. Obama, his wife Michelle and those adorable girls.  Michelle Obama is totally metal--she carries herself with such grace and poise yet is so REAL.  Who really knows but they sure seem like a happy family and it seems like they will raise those girls to be as 'normal' as they can.  I was watching that little Sasha sitting so still throughout the speech and everything else going on and thinking of my own 7 year old boy...uh, never.  Not unless I had a backpack full of cars and drawing paper which from what I gather doesn't seem to be allowed.  As far as the whole Obamena-Phenomena thing goes, I can't help but be amazed that some people just don't get it.  A friend on Facebook commented that he just didn't get how we all think 'the world is going to change the minute Obama gets elected...'  to which I say, how can you NOT see the change already??!  Just the fact that so many people cared about the election this year and came out in droves to support the new president is evident change.  Heck, following the Inauguration on Facebook was what finally prompted the Coreman to join, so there's more change right there.  Anyway, enough politics.  Let's just say it was a happy day indeed to wake up this morning and feel like our country is in good hands for a change.

Me, I'm not changing the world but I'm keeping pretty busy.  Working at Hot Mama a day or two a week which is always fun.  I love going in there for my fix of high fashion and shopping for it with other people's money. :-)  I'm giddy with excitement that I recently got a 1K sale, which means a $50 gift card for me as a sort of 'bonus'.  Woo hoo!  Needless to say the biggest challange about working in that place is not spending my entire paycheck.  I'm trying to hold out now for some spring stuff...which is already starting to arrive.  It is a bit cruel to taunt us Minnesotans with things that make us dream of warmer weather, especially when we're being frozen solid in -20 temperatures....but alas, the cold cruel world of retail.  Hurts so good!

I had a fun appearance at a Mom's Expo recently for the MomsLikeMe site.  Sadly the purpose of the expo was to raise money for a local mom who recently lost her battle to breast cancer, so of course that was a sad tone of the day...but it was fun to hang with Cindy who is the site manager and Rachel, one of my fellow moderators.  This weekend I'll be attending a movie at the Mall of America with the MomsLikeMe crew..our job will be to pass out MLM stuff and get people interested in the site.  It has been such a blast to be involved with that--actually getting PAID to do some writing, and to give my very own opinion about things.  nice!

Well, back to work around here...work being some memorization of lines and writing of music that will be part of some web videos for MLT Vacations' travel site. Wow, I'll officially be on YouTube...and not just from a home movie!  I'm actually getting paid for this job too, which is quite exciting.  It seems many of my creative stuff ends up being pro bono, so I totally feel like a professional now.  Well, I can pretend at least.  Hey, I'll even have a real make-up artist for the filming!  I think I'm more excited about that than anything.  I'm hoping she'll give me some good tips....