OK, so technically the Celebrex pill I just took isn't red, it's actually white...but taking it I feel like Neo from the Matrix, making the decision to go down into the rabbit hole of the unknown. The Pity Party is over, (at least this one is...don't worry, I'll probably invite you to the next...) and now we're in Action mode. I'm finally talking to a 'real' doctor about my back stuff. For an odd reason I really don't quite understand, my chiropractor had me see a rheumatologist (verses an orthopedist) to try to get down to the nitty gritty as to why I'm dealing with these debilitating problems. Honestly I could not repeat what this doctor said --I was completely amazed at his knowledge and it was mostly Greek to me...but the guy seems smart and I'm rolling with it. So as not to bore my two faithful readers with all of the medical mumbo-jumbo, I may just have bad swelling of the muscle that is brought on by degenerative disc disease and loose ligaments. nice. So really there is no CURE, but at least this guy is trying to find me some pain relief. This is where the Celebrex comes in.
Now you remember me mentioning before that I am allergic to all NSAIDS (ibuprofin, asprin, Alleve...anything that relaxes muscles) but this med is supposedly a different TYPE of NSAID. Even the pharmacist says to me, "Now you do know this is an NSAID, right?" yeah, right. But it is my last choice and I guess I'll just go for it. Because I'm allergic to so many things, taking any medication is almost as anxiety-ridden as the pain or whatever it is I'm going through itself. I never know how I'll react. (and typically, it's bad.) So! Here it is, about 10 minutes after I've taken the Red Pill, and I'm still here to type about it. So far, so good...
My dear friend Stephanie has known how frustrated I am with all of this and thought I needed some serious relaxation....so she and I headed over to the Ivy Spa for a massage. And not just any massage, my friends...a 100 minute hot stone message! 
Alas, I can even find anxiety in a relaxing massage...as Stephanie and I sat in the 'relaxation room', robed and in our little plastic spa shoes, I mention to her that I truly hope I'm not going to be worked on by some hot dude. I've only had one other full body message in my life, and it was from a woman. That is just something I have to wonder about, what kind of guy would want to message naked ladies with oil all day long?? Exactly...! I just wanted to relax and not worry that he's getting a peek at my 42 year old boobs, my annoying little muffin top that has a way of turning into a pancake when I lay on my side or my weird little pinky toenail. Not 5 minutes later, two hot young dudes stop in front of us and say, "Susie? Stephanie?" and lead us each into our own rooms. grief! I had to be the most high-maintenance client that poor guy had. I couldn't lay on my stomach for long, so he had to work on me whilst I lay on my sides. (I'm almost sure he must have had a booby shot then. sigh.) Then I had to jump up and pee halfway through the thing. But let me tell you, if you ever have a chance to have a massage with those hot rocks--hot dude or not!--jump at it! When I finally stopped thinking about my flab or my corn-toe I really enjoyed myself. Those rocks are the perfect temperature--just hot enough that if they were 1 more degree they would be TOO hot. It was nothing short of amazing. Which is what I can say about my friend Stephanie, for doing that for me. Beyond!!!
Well, I'm still breathing--so maybe this will work after all? Time will tell. I also had some blood tests taken to rule out any sort of arthritis that could be brewing in there. Nice. If I have arthritis that will REALLY make me feel old! But this Metal Mommy has got to keep rockin' and rollin', even tho someday I'll probably be in one of those mobility scooters. I'll rig it up so that I've always got music blasting from it, threatening to mow people down in Byerlys, throwing them the heavy metal salute. Gotta make the best of what you've got, get yourself through The Matrix as best you can. God Speed!
