Diary of a Metal Mommy

OK, when I saw the video of Susan Boyle unabashedly singing her heart out it definitely brought a tear to my eye along with the rest of the world.  Hooray for the Underdog, of course!! But not long after, a bit of unease reared it's ugly head.  I'm fully aware that this is definitely looking at the glass half empty, but I can't help but feel a bit sickened by the realization that the only way our society gives value to anyone is if they have some kind of extraordinary talent.  Never mind the fact that this woman does charity work and obviously is quite clever and hilarious, from what I've seen of her.  No, we have to take one look at her and just assume because she dresses a bit frumpy, has a few extra pounds and isn't supermodel beautiful (like every good singer should be, of course) that she couldn't possibly have any sort of talent.  Of course it's quite satisfying to see her blow everyone out of the water, which is a big part of what makes her so successful, no doubt. And I'm so happy to hear her reply to the questions about her getting some sort of makeover, "Why should I change?"  I really hope that this experience can open people's eyes a bit.  My glass-half-empty attitude about it all wouldn't bet money on it, but I can hope!!

On a happier and more upbeat note, another performance definitely had me cheering...my daughter Vivian in her middle school musical, 'Oklahoma'.  Granted she really wasn't performing in the play, but was part of the Running Crew--the people who bring the props on and off the stage.  But still, Metal Mommy is still quite proud.  Viv had to be talked into being involved in this in the first place...she's become quite 'shy' in her teen years now. (who would believe it, the girl who would sing Puff the Magic Dragon in front of the church at 5 years old?!) I told her she could do something behind the scenes if she was more comfortable with that, but I just wanted her to be involved.  I remembered how much she loved doing 'Jesus Christ Superstar' a couple of years back through our church.  Sure enough, I got to say "I told you so!" because she ended up really enjoying being part of this production.  It was no surprise to see how professionaly it was done, the theater program at Vivian's schools (junior and and high school) are pretty darn amazing.   Ahhh, it sure brought back memories of my days on the West High stage.  Being 'Mrs. Molloy' in Hello Dolly, or 'Smitty' in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.  In that play I was a self-proclaimed 'nymphomaniac'....!!!!!  Oh, the nice memories of the theater...;-)

All the world's a stage, my friends.  Let's hope everyone gives you a chance to be a star!  There are my words of wisdom--you may now proceed with your day.

So this morning found me at the Mall of America, welcoming parents and kids coming to see a FREE movie at the cinema there.  You heard right, FREE. Every Saturday they have a 'Free Family Flick' at 10:00 AM where you can watch a family-friendly movie and not spend a dime doing so.  Well, of course the treats are NOT free...and who can see a movie without popcorn and/or ten dollar candy??  Where else do you have the excuse to have a King-Sized Snickers for breakfast?? This event is hosted by Moms Like Me, the web site I write and moderate for.  We moderators take turns greeting the people as they come in and this morning it was my turn to represent.  It's always interesting to communicate with these folk...last time I did this some girl came over to tell me that her dad liked me. yikes.  This morning a little boy that I'm guessing was all of about four walked by and solemnly gave me the peace sign.  It's a pretty easy gig--I show up, stand by a lonely dark table and point people toward the direction of the right showroom, (we don't want them going into "The Last House on the Left", after all) sometimes answer questions about Moms Like Me and then make an announcement to everyone to check out the site before I high-tail it outta there.  If I can get my kids up and out of the house they stay and watch the movie, but more often than not I just do my gig and leave.  It's a pretty cool thing though, and I'm always surprised at how empty the theater is.  A free movie, people!  Maybe folks just really don't know about it?  You should check it out!

Being at the mall, well...of course it's a great excuse to slip into a few stores.  I just HAD to pop into one of my faves, Sephora, to seek out a product I saw in one of their emails to me.  Check out these hilarious 'Pocket Rocket' lipglosses, made by Urban Decay.  Remember those pens from the 70's (okay, I know I'm dating myself here...!) that had either 'hunky' guys (a 70's sort of hunky...complete with cheesy mustaches and sideburns) or buxom ladies inside the clear plastic and when you turned them over their clothes came off?  Well this is the exact same concept in the top 'lid' of the lipgloss.  Of course these are all dudes, since the product clearly caters to women. (and I guess straight women at that.  not for the Lipstick Lesbian, apparently.  or Lipgloss Lesbian...) There are eight different dudes/shades to choose from, and that's a quandary---do you pick the dude you want or the shade??  If you mouse over the different choices on the web site it will show you a bigger picture so you can really get an eyeful. Apparently the view from the back is good too.  I literally laughed out loud when I saw this, delighted.  I couldn't wait to go into Sephora and pick out my very own dude to bring home--but alas, they aren't even in stores yet!  Poo! So much for instant satisfaction.  And I don't know about you, but it's too hard to pick something like a lip shade sight unseen. (I guess the practical side of me is choosing for the gloss verses the guy.)  But I'm definitely going to have to pick up one of those bad boys---it's been a while since I've done that. ;-) Hey, this along with a vibrating mascara--you've got yourself a date!

...tried to write and can't get started.  Bet you thought I was going to finish that another way, didn't you?!  OK, maybe my last post was about The Toilet, but this one...nah.  I was thinking I should probably post about more classy things....but then again I am a Metal Mommy after all.  Besides, how could I resist sharing this latest article sent to me from my dear hubby?  Apparently there is the molecule known as hydrogen sulphide--which is found in a toot, to put it nicely--and the scent of it has been scientifically proven to be an arousal for men.  They are thinking it could be the next Viagra.  This explains a lot.  I think it's safe to say, however, that women do not share this grisly appreciation.  NOT an aphrodesiac!!!

Now that I've covered the topics of sex, toilets and flatulence, I think it's time to move on.  But this is often the problem with me and blogging.  Writing is fun and therapeutic for me, and I so enjoy blogging....but often I feel like I have nothing to say.  I take that back...I have PLENTY to say, but not always things I feel l want to share with the entire world, or that the entire world wants to share with me.  Sometimes there are things I would love to rant and rave about, but my family would not appreciate me blasting them out to the world.  Like life, I like to concentrate on the lighter side of things and not get too bogged down with politics, the economy or my latest black thought.  If I shop and find myself a cool pair of shoes or an awesome deal at a garage sale, does anyone really care?!  I am truly blessed with the fact that my life is pretty uneventful in the grand scheme of things, but that doesn't make for good blogging material.

So, here I sit.  I will take a moment to mention that tomorrow my dear son will be eight years old!  Eight.  That just sounds old to me.  Like Sullivan, I find myself feeling a bit melancholy about the fact that he is officially turning another year older.  I like him under my protective Mother Bear paw.  Every year older brings him closer to the scary teen years and farther away from me.  But!  I refuse to dwell on such things!  We will sing Happy Birthday, open presents and be merry.  I love the fact that Sullivan requested sushi for part of his birthday dinner.  Sushi and meatloaf.  What a combo!

Those of you who know me know that I surely appreciate potty humor.  To me it's yet another wonderful thing about having kids--especially a 7 year old boy-- a great excuse to dabble in it more oft than naught.  However I do think I may lose a bit of defecation appreciation if I were to read a menu that offered 'diarrhea with dried poop' or 'bloody poop' as dessert items.  Apparently there is a restaurant in Taiwan called The Modern Toilet that has such a menu, where you sit on toilets to eat and are served your food in miniature versions of them.  You have to read the entire article to get the idea.  Fascinating.  With the 'poop-shaped' lights and dish covers it sounds like it has quite the decor.  I think I have actually found something that could gross even me out. However this is a place I could take my mother.  No, seriously.  She would love it. (where do you think I got my sense of humor from?!)  

Every morning I wake to a cuppa decaf and a peruse of the CNN news site on my computer.  My day just does not feel complete unless I have made a quick scan of what's going on in the world.  Of course being informed with worthy news stories also eventually leads to catching up on the latest gossip--I mean, why not?!  

This morning I found myself reading about Gwyneth Paltrow's web site titled 'Goop'.  I guess many people are totally ripping on her with a sort of 'who do you think you are?' pondering.  I honestly don't get it.  OK, so after glancing at the site many of the things she suggests are things that normal people like you and I who don't have millions of dollars and aren't beautiful privileged celebrities would never do, buy, or have access to.  But who the hell cares?  I don't get what they are picking on her for.

Honestly I've never really cared one way or another about Gwyneth--she's a fine actress who has done some great roles but to me will mostly be remembered as yet another one of Brad's conquests--so it's not like I feel some grand loyalty to her.  But it really is beyond me as to why people really give a rip about what others do with their spare time. Doesn't just about everyone and their dog have a blog these days, sharing their stories and giving their own opinions?  In MY humble opinion, this whole Goop/Gwyneth thing is much ado about nothing. Honestly I'm more disturbed by the web site of the fitness guru that Gwyneth touts, Tracy Anderson. Curious about her method I checked her out and was disturbed by the 'gallery' images of her, clearly turned on by her own image in the mirror and pouting like a Playboy Bunny bimbo. Sure, she's toned but WAY too skinny, and not the kind of healthy look/person I would aspire to be.  It totally turned me off of even wanting to try her exercise program. Guess I'll stick to Billy!!!